Interviewing The Candidate

I created this image for a post in 2011. Click the image to read “Mean People Suck”…

Steph: Hello. How may I help you?

The Candidate: I would like your vote.

Steph: Really? Why should I choose you?

The Candidate: Because I am the best. Believe me.

Steph: Are you really? I am unaware of your qualifications. Who said so?

The Candidate: I am telling you to believe me.

Steph: Hmm… Will you work to help improve ABC or XYZ?

The Candidate: Perhaps, if it those things are in my best interest.

Steph: How do you consider the opinions, needs, reality of your challengers? And those of their supporters?

The Candidate: I do not agree with them. I will not consider their needs. I will ignore their reality. They will bend to my will and feed my appetite for glory.

Steph: What do you plan to do if you are elected? Do you have a plan to achieve your goals?

The Candidate: Of course. I plan to do lots of things. Of course, they all may not be of concern to you directly.

Steph: Of course. Tell me about your plan. Does it include ABC? Have you considered XYZ? What sets of data did you resource for your study? When? How? Why? Who? …

The Candidate: Oh, well, we don’t need to go into such detail. You just need to trust that when I get into office, I will work to protect the interests of my constituents.

Steph: You will? I am one of your constituents. Will you work to address my concerns?

The Candidate: Well, I can take your concerns under consideration. In the meantime, how much can you donate to my campaign? May I count on your vote?

Steph: Nope, bloodsucker.


The featured image for this post is a sketch I created for one of my posts written in 2011. Read “Sideburns are dark, scripted comments about character.

© 2017 Steph Abbott. All rights reserved.

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6. Day 6 of the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6 and today’s prompt is: Feature a guest – a guest post / an interview. While I did not secure a guest writer or interview a real person, I outlined the high points from what I perceive the eternal interview with the candidate from hell. #writebravely #writetribe #festivalofwords

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