Hairy Coconut Coffee Balls – A bit of childish humor for confection

Have you ever tried homemade Coconut Balls? They are amazing! They are also the second varietal in this year’s chocolate ball extravaganza!

Also known as Swedish Coconut Balls, this easy, no-bake recipe has fondly been re-dubbed, “Hairy Coconut Coffee Balls.” Yes, I am the only female in the household.

This recipe has not been one of our family traditions; although, that may change. However, as is my own tradition, I took certain liberties with the prescribed ingredients and preparation, (i.e., used up whatever was in the pantry). The following reflect my modifications:

  • Quick 1-minute oats (instead of rolled oats)
  • Two packets Starbucks VIA™ (instead of two teaspoons strong coffee)
  • Chocolate chips, bittersweet, 60% cacoa  (instead of squares of unsweetened baking chocolate)
  • Sweetened shredded coconut (instead of coconut flakes)

All told, I rolled out about 100 confections. Minus the those few fondled and sampled at the call of, “Come get your hairy balls!”, the rest are being stored in an air-tight container, in the freezer, and until there’s such a time we can take them out in polite company and not laugh.

It may be awhile. 

Silver & Blue Bourbon Balls – A bit of Nevada spirit

Spent the day with my mom. We relished yesterday’s meal, drank smoothies, folded laundry, and considered the pending Nevada v. Boise State football game. My folks are big Nevada fans. Best of all, we made Mrs. B’s fabulous bourbon balls. (We doubled the recipe and used what my husband had of some old bourbon. The rest was straight rye.) In the end, I tickled my mom with the fancy toppings in her team colors—silver and blue crystallized sugars. Go Pack!

Mr. & Mrs. B’s Bourbon Balls—a recipe for fun and friendship.

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Growing up, I remember all the yummy, tasty gifts that would arrive during the holiday season. You know, trays of treats and canisters of confections that friends of the family would deliver while spending some time visiting with the folks. One family in particular, the B’s, always brought over Panettone and bourbon balls.

Those bourbon balls were legendary in their power over the palate (and senses)! As a distilled confection, my mom would store them in glass Mason jars in the freezer. She would break them out after dinner on special occasions to be enjoyed by all the adults. While my sister and I were only allowed one during the holidays, we would pilfer those jars throughout the year!

As life started to pass by, I realized my love of those bourbon balls had endured through boys, sign-language courses, several jobs and a cat. A food-memory if you will. I associated them with a wonderful time and fabulous friends. I started to crave these goodies and share their distilled deliciousness with my friends.

I put in a few calls and ended up on the phone with Mrs. B. She waited patiently on the line while I scrawled her recipe on a scrap of paper. I think she was tickled with the request. I’m not sure whether it was because her family tradition had made such an impression or simply that the recipe was not all that secret. I know it was a bit of both. I was giddy from the gift of friendship from the 90-proof confections!

While I’ve already told the tale of how this spirited treat has infused my dreams, I am happy to report that I have found that scrap of paper. So, while you (and @MagicBartender) may already know the recipe, here is the one that has had my mind marinating for a while now:

Mr. & Mrs. B’s Bourbon Balls

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups vanilla wafers

1 cup walnuts

2/3 cup good bourbon (I’m partial to JD and counsel away from the bottled bird. Otherwise it’s your game.)

1 cup confectioner’s sugar (that’s powdered sugar for the Gen-Xers)

3 tablespoons cocoa powder

2 tablespoons light corn syrup

Various toppings, confectioners & crystallized sugars to roll the balls in for presentation.

Directions:

Pulverize wafers with a mallet (or use a food processor) and put in big bowl. Grind walnuts (use a food processor this time) and add them to the wafer crumbs.

Blend the remaining ingredients (except the various toppings) for 10 minutes and add to the crumby bowl.

Mix all the ingredients well. This step can be fun yet messy using your hands or quick and even using a big bowl mixer or a food processor. Either way, lapping up the sticky mixture is quite the treat. Tip? Think of the end-user. Hands only for the solo hoarders. Mixers for mixed company.

Then, let it all sit and stew. Both the mixture and you. Drink a few shots and shoot the breeze with your family, friends or the cat. However, don’t get carried away and don’t throw darts. You’ve got to get all the mixture rolled into balls and rolled again in any toppings.

Turning the strong-smelling chocolate mess into handsome balls of fun takes quite a bit of time. You’ll need to prep a clean flat surface (waxed paper on cookie trays or your husband’s recently-cleared desk).

Roll the mixture into 1 inch balls (use a spoon or one of those nifty cookie dough scoops). [Note added after original post: Cookie dough scoops just won’t cut it. Use a teaspoon and the palm of your hands to roll into balls. Yes, this is messy. Use some of those plastic, food service gloves. Place the balls on the waxed paper.

Roll in the topping(s) of your choice. Gaze at your work and decide who deserves them enough to receive as gifts. Divvy them up and store in airtight containers for at least 24 hours before serving or delivering them to the lucky ones.

If delivering past the porch, please do not eat these balls and drive!

Special thanks to Mr. & Mrs. B for all the special memories and that beautiful, ball-shaped, crystal serving dish!

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Oh! I dream of southern-fried chocolate balls.

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With the holidays just around the bend, I’ve been planning the production of plenty of chocolate balls. I’ve actually been dreaming of balls.

While the store-bought truffle is fine, I prefer the densely rolled, moist, caked-but-not-baked confection rolled in sugar, cocoa, coconut and other yummy dressings.

Of all these spherical splendors, I’m partial to the bourbon ball–especially my spherical lyricals infused with cocoa and a more than a splash of Kentucky spirits.

I have a simple, no-cook recipe that rocks the palate in almost a “southern-fried” way. With a bit of cocoa and a bite of bourbon, down a few and you’ll be singing about gravel roads, dogs and women. Hazardous to your health, my bourbon balls are best served in moderation and in accordance with the territory’s liquor laws. As such, I now only make them for special occasions (or the month of December).

Best part? They will not stale, and given the high proof, they can be stored in the freezer and noshed on throughout the year.


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