Interviewing The Candidate

Steph: Hello. How may I help you?

The Candidate: I would like your vote.

Steph: Really? Why should I choose you?

The Candidate: Because I am the best. Believe me.

Steph: Are you really? I am unaware of your qualifications. Who said so?

The Candidate: I am telling you to believe me.

Steph: Hmm… Will you work to help improve ABC or XYZ?

The Candidate: Perhaps, if it those things are in my best interest.

Steph: How do you consider the opinions, needs, reality of your challengers? And those of their supporters?

The Candidate: I do not agree with them. I will not consider their needs. I will ignore their reality. They will bend to my will and feed my appetite for glory.

Steph: What do you plan to do if you are elected? Do you have a plan to achieve your goals?

The Candidate: Of course. I plan to do lots of things. Of course, they all may not be of concern to you directly.

Steph: Of course. Tell me about your plan. Does it include ABC? Have you considered XYZ? What sets of data did you resource for your study? When? How? Why? Who? …

The Candidate: Oh, well, we don’t need to go into such detail. You just need to trust that when I get into office, I will work to protect the interests of my constituents.

Steph: You will? I am one of your constituents. Will you work to address my concerns?

The Candidate: Well, I can take your concerns under consideration. In the meantime, how much can you donate to my campaign? May I count on your vote?

Steph: Nope, bloodsucker.


The featured image for this post is a sketch I created for one of my posts written in 2011. Read “Sideburns are dark, scripted comments about character.

© 2017 Steph Abbott. All rights reserved.

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6. Day 6 of the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6 and today’s prompt is: Feature a guest – a guest post / an interview. While I did not secure a guest writer or interview a real person, I outlined the high points from what I perceive the eternal interview with the candidate from hell. #writebravely #writetribe #festivalofwords

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10 Replies to “Interviewing The Candidate”

  1. Wow! I’m impressed. How’d you get the President to do an interview for your blog? On such short notice, too! Kudos.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ramya says:

    Mm.. really mean. But a mean candidate might not reveal his negative side in interview. Nice post Steph.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Natasha says:

    I like this one Steph! And the fact that you are one mean machine. Otherwise no mean feat to get hold of the Orange guy!
    Very cool. First time here, will be back again soon.

    My post:

    https://natashamusing.com/2017/08/publishing-dipankar-mukherjee-writebravely-writetribe/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Vinitha says:

    Wow, too harsh. That is the reality though. Good one, Steph.

    Liked by 1 person

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